Trials Of A Teenage Philosopher

A a wise man once said "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." This is true. As teenagers our lives move fast, practically light speed. This is a blog about one of those kids.

I HATE TUMBLR.

Not much to say. Just that I hate this website. I hate facebook. I hate Twitter. I hate the way I feel. I hate that this medicine doesn’t work. I hate LOVE. I hate high school. I hate that I won’t be going to prom. I hate that valentines day is such a big deal in high school. I hate the way I feel when I remember things. I hate the uncertainty that the future holds. I hate that I still think about you at night. I hate that I can’t get rid of the things you’ve given me. I hate that people think I’m weak. I hate that I never say the things I want. I hate the way I sound when I talk. I hate school administration. I hate money. I hate most athletes. I hate the pain that I have in my chest. I hate that I have nothing to do after school. I HATE HOW I HATE EVERYTHING.

I hate that I want to write something deep and philosophical but all I can think about is the future. 

Special Memories :)

At times life can really be like a movie. Its strange but the moral of the story is that people really do care about you. Take nothing for granted because the next day those same things may not be there. I’m grateful for the way my life is because although it may not be exactly what I want, its much better than some people have it. Memories fly through my head all the time. I tend to get lost. Special memories. Everything from Jorge almost killing an entire mexican family, to “our tree” and the dead cat on the street sign :). Moments in life that people take for granted are moments you’ll wish you never forgot. All I have to say is…

Life’s good. I’m grateful :).

My Life.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Dear Tumblr,

     Tumblr, sometimes I feel like you’re the only one that understands my thoughts. My reflections on the complex and tough days of my life. This thing that we call life is by no means easy. Everyone is challenged no matter who you are but lately I feel like I’ve got things worse than most of the people I know. We’re always taught to be a good person and we will be rewarded in the end. I’ve lived my life trying to be a good person, a straight edged individual. Yet, life doesn’t reward me. Everyone mistakes my kindness for weakness.

The past few days have destroyed almost every fiber of who I am… or who I was. I’m an empty shell of a person, missing a heart and a personality. I try to heal, but its not an easy process. Time may heal all wounds but time passes excruciatingly slow when you need it to be on your side. 

The people closest to me try to comfort me but its only a temporary pain reliever. When they’re gone, the pain returns. My heart begins beating a mile a minute, and my mind replays some of the most painful moments of my life. “What if I did something differently?” “What if I said this?” “What if I do this?”, I constantly ask myself. I couldn’t get any of the words off my tongue that would have possibly made a difference. This is the thing I hate the most about myself. I always want to say the perfect thing, and in the end I say nothing at all. But it wouldn’t make a difference. By the time I realized what had happened it was already too late. I never stood a chance.

I’ve always been reluctant to open my heart to someone, and after the experiences I’ve had, I vowed not to until later in life. But I thought she was different. I thought maybe she would’ve been different. I’ve fallen into a dark place that I never thought I would find myself in. A place closer to the end than it is to the beginning. But I refuse to give up. I’ll eventually get through this but it will take time, it won’t be easy. I haven’t eaten in days, I feel like a zombie and I wish that at some point maybe I would disappear from Earth. But then I realize that I’m not the person I think I am.

I am not worthless, I am not simply taking up space, I am Trent. I have a place. Although I haven’t found it yet, I will eventually. It’s only a matter of time.

I haven’t been on here in forever. I can’t really sleep tonight. Its weird but I keep thinking about what she said last night. So much is running through my head. I’ve just been thinking and reflecting on life lately and I made a video that kinda shows how I feel. Whatever nothing special. Hopefully now I’m tired enough to fall asleep….

The One I Love <3

Its been a while since I’ve been on Tumblr and I’m back :]. I feel like so much has happened in the last month. I know it sounds cliché but I’m in love. I never really knew what love was until I met her. Summer Session. She’s amazing. I can’t even find words to describe her. She’s everything any guy could want and I’m lucky enough to have her. She’s funny, beautiful, smart, and is a great writer. 

I’m sorry ladies, but none of you will ever be as beautiful as Summer. Whenever I’m with her my heart wants to jump out of my chest. I’ve never met anyone like her in my life and I’m so glad I did. She brings out the best in me over and over. She’ll get me out of my shell and thats what I love about her. We connect. My heart will always be with her. I want to write more but I’m about to go to her house right now so bye Tumblr :]. And Summer, I love you!!! <3 :] 

damagedseason:

Oh no
SuperGang is in trouble.
The evil Nessa has trapped Chellie in a Box like cage thing, while she tries to change Charlie (Chellie’s dog) into a mutated monster!
Chen Chen (Trent) is trying to get an antidote for Summer, because he can’t stop the evil Nessa alone, She might try to kiss him!
Summer has been changed into her evil Half “The WeatherChanger” due to a poison Dr. TapWorm convinced her to drink. In an attempted to make her his evil wife.
Will Trent find the Antidote in time to change Summer back into herself? Will Chellie be free in time to keep Charlie safe? Can SuperGang win this battle between good and evil? And Where is their sidekick Ashes the cat when this is going on?
Find out in the next episode of……..
SuperGang Super Adventures!!!!!!!!

damagedseason:

Oh no

SuperGang is in trouble.

The evil Nessa has trapped Chellie in a Box like cage thing, while she tries to change Charlie (Chellie’s dog) into a mutated monster!

Chen Chen (Trent) is trying to get an antidote for Summer, because he can’t stop the evil Nessa alone, She might try to kiss him!

Summer has been changed into her evil Half “The WeatherChanger” due to a poison Dr. TapWorm convinced her to drink. In an attempted to make her his evil wife.

Will Trent find the Antidote in time to change Summer back into herself? Will Chellie be free in time to keep Charlie safe? Can SuperGang win this battle between good and evil? And Where is their sidekick Ashes the cat when this is going on?

Find out in the next episode of……..

SuperGang Super Adventures!!!!!!!!

The perfect moment?

Well I just got off the phone with a terrible girl from my past. She made me think about how I was and how I am now, and I’m exactly the same. I was expecting to start a blog tonight saying “today was a day like every other”, but it turned out so different. Have you ever experienced a moment so powerful, that you convince yourself it isn’t real. Then within seconds you come to the realization that what you are experiencing is indeed happening right before you. I in fact experienced this phenomenon first hand earlier today. For some, this experience may not be a pleasant one, but for me it was amazing. The sound of her heartbeat echoed through me and made me feel something I’ve only ever felt with her. The depressing thing about the whole experience was that it meant nothing. Nothing I do will ever mean anything. But for that moment it didn’t matter. Love never means anything when it comes to me. I’ve just got to disconnect my heart from my head and stop being Trent. It’s Trent that gets me nowhere. I’m ready to just drive out of this town and leave everyone behind, growing into a new person that can take risks. I worry too much about what can happen, instead of seeing what will happen. That’s why I’ll never be with the only girl I’ve ever loved. I found my old cell phone from the past summer and it still had txt messages on it. She liked me, and i couldnt see it. Now I regret it worse than anything in my life. I’ve taken a look at myself and realized. I’m not a smooth talking guy with perfect hair, I’m not a star athlete, I’m not a talented musician, I’m just that guy that wanders through life alone. Wondering what if.
As I watch the stars become the day, I always find myself thinking about her, which turn into dreams, which just turn into hopelessness. Sometimes I wish that I could stay asleep, never waking up from those dreams. Maybe then I’ll be happy, in a perfect world. I’ve got one year of school left. I’m going mix it up and become something I’ve always despised. I’m going to be like everyone else and see where it gets me. I just hope I don’t loose to much of myself in the process. Who says I can’t be free from all the things I used to be. I’ve got to go to bed to get my books tomorrow for next year. I wonder what tomorrow holds in store for me, I’ve got to live everyday like my last and see where this road takes me.

Today was a pretty boring day. Not one interesting thing happened to me besides seeing my brother finally cut his hair for the “environment”. The day went on and somehow I ended up hearing the Trey Songz song “say ahh” nonstop. It drove me absolutely insane! So I decided to look up the lyrics, and I was greeted with the absolute trash it is. Rap honestly is garbage. True there are some rap songs that are good, but for the most part its garbage. I was pretty bored so I decided to make a video about it. Enjoy. 

What is Supergang? Supergang is the most awesome group of friends that will bust out an adventure just to do it. Its me, Summer, and Chellie. Summer is saying &#8220;I wonder what they would do if&#8230;&#8221;, I&#8217;m saying &#8220;At least its Friday!&#8221;, and Chellie&#8217;s saying &#8220;where&#8217;s that swagger wagon?&#8221;. When life&#8217;s like a comic book why not live like one. It seems like whenever the three of us are together something out of the ordinary happens, whether it be that one super stalker girl, crazy weather, or just having fun. Supergang forever! And sooner or later we&#8217;ll make those videos we&#8217;ve all thought up in our heads.

What is Supergang? Supergang is the most awesome group of friends that will bust out an adventure just to do it. Its me, Summer, and Chellie. Summer is saying “I wonder what they would do if…”, I’m saying “At least its Friday!”, and Chellie’s saying “where’s that swagger wagon?”. When life’s like a comic book why not live like one. It seems like whenever the three of us are together something out of the ordinary happens, whether it be that one super stalker girl, crazy weather, or just having fun. Supergang forever! And sooner or later we’ll make those videos we’ve all thought up in our heads.